The Dog Show Play

THE    DOG    SHOW    PLAY

the street decided to have a dog show.Reader:One day,all the dogs in 

Pepsi:Who’s going to be the judge?

Dermot:Let Biggles be the the judge,he’s the oldest.

Biggles:Certainly not,if I were the judge I wouldn’t be able to win the prize.

Dudley:Let Lulu be the judge.

Lulu:No,thank you,I wish to enter the show.

Dermot:Well,somebody has to be the judge,or we can’t have a show.

Pounce:I’ll be the judge.

Bertha:(growling)What! Who ever heard of a cat judging a dog show.

Scruff:Well,there’s no one else.   (turn page over.)

Reader:So Pounce was the judge. 

Pounce:What’s going to be the prize?

Scruff:Let’s all give something.

Reader:Bertha gave a big bone.Dudley gave a can of dog food.Lulu gave a well-chewed shoe.Pepsi gave a ribbon. Biggles gave a food dish.Dermot gave some dog biscuits.

And Scruff gave a rubber ball.

Pounce:Very well,let’s see what you can do.

Reader:First they had a race.Lulu came first.Dermot was last.Then Dermot showed how he could do something no one else could do:he crawled under the railings.Scruff tried,but she got her head stuck.Bertha wanted to have fights.(she always did.)But no one was willing to fight her.

Pepsi sat up and begged.Biggles rolled onto his back and played dead.And Dudley fell asleep.

Pounce:Very good,Now, for the next part of the show ,I want you to tell me why you think you should win the prize.First,Pepsi.

(turn page over.)

Reader:Pepsi wiggled her bottom,and walked on his hind  legs.

Dermot : Oh,look at her!She’s like a stick of candy floss on legs.

Reader:Pepsi ignored him.

Pepsi:I should win the prize,because my owner says I’m both pretty and perfect.

Bertha:Yes,pretty silly and perfectly ridiculous.

Pounce:Dermot?

Pepsi:You can’t give the prize to that walking sausage!

Dermot:I am not a sausage!

Lulu:If he grew legs it wouldn’t be so bad.

Dermot:I’ve got a very fine set of legs,thank you.And I can see no virtue in racing around like an express train on stilts.I ought to win the prize because of my superior intelligence.(turn page over.)

Bertha:Superior to what?That’s the question.

Biggles:Superior to a cucumber?

Bertha:He certainly looks like one.

Pounce:Bertha?

Bertha:(growling)Because I’m as brave as a lion,I’m as strong as an ox,I’m as fierce as a tiger.I’ll take on any dog in this street.Who want’s to try me?Come on,you lily-livered lap dogs!Put’em up!

Pounce:Alright!Alright!Thats enough of that!Come on out,Dermot.No one’s going to hurt you.

Dermot:(from behind a dustbin.)If you ask me,dogs only want to fight all the time if they haven’t got much brain.

Pounce:Dudley?Dudley!

Reader:But Dudley just snored.

Bertha:I’ll soon wake him!Mind out of my way!

Scruff:Let him sleep.Pounce,I’ll tell you why he should win the prize.

Pounce:Go on,then.

Scruff:Well,he’s very cuddly.(turn page over.)

Bertha:(snarling)Cuddly!This is a dog show-not a teddy - bears’ tea party.

Pepsi:Cuddly!He could do with going to the hairdresser before anyone would want to cuddle him!

Lulu:Cuddly!He’s about as cuddly as an old sheepskin rug that’s been left out in the rain.

Scruff:Well I think he’s cuddly,I call him Cuddly Dudley.

Pounce:Lulu?

Lulu:I can run like the wind.

Pepsi:Oh,hark at her!Like the wind indeed!

Biggles:She thinks it’s a poetry competition.(turn page over.)

Lulu:I am full of grace.

Bertha:So that’s what she had for breakfast.

Lulu:I am streamlined and sleek.

Dermot:She means she looks half starved,I could play a tune on those ribs.

Bertha:If you could reach them.

Pounce:Biggles?

Biggles:I’ve got the great weight of dignity in my favour.

Dermot:He’s got a great weight,all right,his mother must have been an elephant.

Pepsi:And his father was a hippopotamus.

Biggles:Clearly,of all the dogs in the street,I am the most impressive.

Scruff:What does impressive mean?(turn page over.)

Lulu:It means that if he sat on you,he’d leave a big impression.

Dermot:If he sat on you,you’d end up like a dog shaped pancake.

Pounce:Scruff?

Scruff:Who,me?

Pepsi:Yes,you,there are no other Scruffs in this street.

Scruff:Oh.Well,I don’t know.

Lulu:I should think you don’t.

Scruff:I can’t think of any reason why I should win the prize.

Dermot:I can’t think of reason why she should win the prize,either.

Scruff:But thank you for asking me,Pounce.

Pounce:All right,now, all sit,and I’ll announce the result.

(turn page over.)

Pounce:The prize for the best dog in the show goes to our worthy winner… (pause for a great effect.)the one and only… Scruff!

Bertha:(growling)What! Scruff! If she is the best dog in the street,I’ll eat my kennel!

Pepsi:It’s not fair!I’m ten times better looking than her!

Lulu:But she is the scruffiest dog in the street.

Dermot:Why should she win the prize?

Pounce:Scruff gets the prize because she is the only dog in the street,who never chases cats